Bark and Ted’s friendship is complicated. And while on spring break, it gets even more complicated when Bark brings home a woman back to the room, into the bed they share.
The bed is shaking.
Do they have earthquakes around here?
Someone’s moaning. Why is someone moaning in my bed?
Ted felt something against his leg. Something warm. A leg? At first he thought it was Bark’s leg, but it was smooth and slender, unlike the lacrosse calves Bark had worked so hard to develop.
Whoever’s leg it was, it was moving. It seemed increasingly likely that it belonged to whoever was moaning. Next to him. In his bed.
Ted opened his eyes to find the room mostly dark. The light from the bathroom illuminated a streak across the foot of the bed, and he could see the duvet moving rhythmically. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what was going on next to him, though by this point he knew full well what was happening. He looked at the pillow next to him and saw a tangle of long blonde hair. She, whoever she was, was facing away from him. Her arms were wrapped around Bark and his around her. They were writhing together on their sides—how were they even doing that? Ted tried to imagine what mechanics were in operation under the covers, but then realized he was trying to picture his best friend having sex. He closed his eyes again.
He wanted to get up, to slip out of the room before the congress next to him reached its inevitable conclusion, but that seemed awkward. Perhaps less awkward than lying there pretending not to exist, but overall Ted was more comfortable with his complete erasure than he would have been with the visibility of stalking across the floor while they went at it.
Plus, from what he could tell, he was naked.
Where the see-through black briefs had gone was just one of the mysteries of the evening. A mystery, Ted knew already, he would prefer to let recede into the mists of time. He probably had barfed all over himself and had to be hosed down and put to bed. And of course Bark would figure that if he was too far gone to keep from soiling himself, he would surely sleep through Bark and his new friend working through the Kama Sutra. This was the kind of insane reasoning that added up only on spring break.
Ted decided to play dead and wait for it to be over.
A few minutes later, however, as the pace quickened and the moaning rose an octave, he felt compelled to open his eyes. What he saw was worse than he could have imagined.
It was Bark. Looking back at him.
He held his lady friend close, strong arms holding her as his rhythmic thrusts grew more urgent. He was flushed and a bit sweaty, but his green eyes were locked on Ted as he moved up and down with the effort of sliding his—Ted knew this as much as he tried not to know it—nine inches of stiff cock in and out of her.
Ted tried to look away, made every effort to close his eyes, but he could not. Seeing Bark this way, transported by physical pleasure, so transfixed him that he was powerless to break their connected stare. His eyebrows rose in panic as the sheer obscenity of the situation overwhelmed him.
Bark’s eyebrows rose along with his.
Ted’s chest grew tight. He closed his eyes for a long blink and opened them.
Bark did the same.
Bark’s pace was growing ever faster; the moans of his companion were rising to a staccato frenzy of yelping. And still his eyes remained locked on Ted’s.
Ted took a deep breath. He couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t try to determine whether Bark’s mirroring of his motions was coincidence or intentional.
He opened his mouth, and bit the right side of his lower lip. It was a move every movie heroine does when she wants to convey simultaneous innocence and sexual availability. He did it because he had to know.
Bark’s eyes crinkled for an instant, just as they did when he was about to burst out laughing, but he didn’t laugh. No, instead he opened his mouth and bit down on the left side of his lower lip, exactly mirroring Ted’s motion.
We’re really doing this.
Ted didn’t remember feeling the erection grow, but he was now certainly aware of its presence on his belly. It throbbed in time with Bark’s thrusting, and now he felt it slipping crazily side to side in a slick pool it had produced near his navel. Ted hadn’t touched it, but he felt its eager presence, the warmth it created radiating out from his groin.
Bark’s eyebrows began to peak, and his breath was short. Ted knew he was close, and he watched with fascination the changes that swept over his friend’s face as the moment neared. His cheeks flushed, and he licked his lips as if they were dry from the exertion—Ted did the same, without even thinking—and sweat beaded on his forehead, dampening his hair to a dark copper. Then, the spasm started. He froze at the peak of a thrust, and made a dozen tiny little jabbing movements while his eyes rolled upward. His mouth formed into an O, and his cheeks pulled in and puffed out with frenetic bursts of breath. He writhed, arms and legs in motion, and then…
Ted’s world stopped spinning when Bark’s hand touched his shoulder. Hot and sweaty and strong, at first it seemed accidental, a byproduct of his grasping for leverage, a better angle from which to pound away at his lady fair. But then it flopped over, palm pressed against Ted’s clavicle, and the fingers gripped his flesh. Ted looked down at it in a panic, and then back up to Bark’s face, which was contorted and red. No breath, no sound. But his eyes never looked anywhere but at Ted’s.
Bark was frozen this way for several long seconds, and then a growl unlike anything Ted had ever heard rumbled through his chest and out his throat. His hand, though—his hand never released its grip on Ted’s chest. The fingers grasped and released but then grasped again even harder. Bark wouldn’t let go of him.
Then, suddenly, his expression changed from one of angry exertion to one of surprised bliss. Eyebrows peaked, mouth open as if chasing its next breath. It was a look of pleasure and innocence, as if Bark were experiencing this for the very first time, as if this orgasm were a roller coaster he had saved all of his summer chore money to ride, one time, before school started. It was the entire story of his life in one look, and it was what did Ted in.
As Bark cried out in ecstasy, Ted’s lonely member responded in kind. As he watched Bark’s primal thrusting, their gazes still locked on each other, his cock suddenly erupted. The orgasm took him completely by surprise, and he thrashed in its grip while Bark shivered out the last spasms of his.
And still he held Ted tightly, never taking his hand back, never looking anywhere else.
As the spontaneous orgasm waned, Ted’s chest tightened. What the fuck had they just done? His heart pounded. But then the hand that had come to rest on his heart relaxed its grip. Ted was relieved that this bizarre physical connection would be broken. But Bark didn’t lift his hand off Ted’s chest, despite its panicked heaving, driven by the breath he couldn’t seem to catch. Instead, the fingers began to move in little circles, small tickling movements that sent goose bumps springing all across Ted’s chest. The sheer insane intimacy of this motion made the blood drain from Ted’s face, but Bark simply smiled as his breathing slowed to normal.
And then, with a wink, he pulled his hand back and wrapped his arm around the woman who was between them. He closed his eyes and his head sunk back to the pillow and out of sight.
Ted tried to work out his next step, but nothing came to him. He was in a bed with his best friend and the woman he had obviously brought back from a bar; those two had just had sex with each other, and Ted had accidentally done so as well, but with himself. Now they seemed to be snoozing, and he was wet and mortified. There was nothing in Ted’s experience to prepare him for this situation, which, he was certain, had never happened to anyone ever.
He decided he just needed to get the hell out of there. As he slid out of the bed, he did his best to wipe off his torso on the sheet. It would be an awful mess—Ted didn’t think he had ever come so much in his life—but it was better than walking out of the room dripping with spooge. He stood up, searching the floor for something, anything, he could put on. Luckily, though his underwear were still missing in action, his cargo shorts were conveniently wadded up in the middle of the floor. He stooped down to put them on.
“Oh, is your friend leaving?” a woman’s voice asked from the bed.
Bark only grunted uncertainly.
“He’s welcome to stay and join us… I mean, if you’re into that. It would be fine with me.”
“Thanks, but I was just leaving,” Ted said inanely. “You two have fun.” He opened the door and stepped onto the pool deck.